Mine.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Overall

Saturday (18.09.10):

Title : I got my night screwed.

I told you guys before that i'm gonna study today, yea? But mom insist on going out. And she said that i have to go out as well. Wth... so then, i cannot do my homework. I have tons to do, please. Nvm, nvm... since i'm alr out, i shall enjoy myself! (: Ate mac for lunch then we went to tm. Shop a bit and bought my shirt. Then we went fairprice and bought lots of cooking ingredients. Lol... we went back at 6 30. Was discussing with audrey and angeline about the lit project on msn at 8pm. I need do work, so then i online. (: After 10pm, i...... cried. Because of that matter that happened yesterday. I talked to zhong zhe first. I just wanted to.. you know... sort things out. I apologized to him first, But he said i betrayed him, and that he had lost trust in me. I didn't cry at first. But as time goes by, as the conversation became longer, as his words grew more and more hurtful, i cried. I used 2 tissue papers. If you think it's like... damn serious, it IS VERY serious. What he says is just so damn hurtful. They hurt a lot. He said... it's easy to lost trust but difficult to gain back. If you're his friend and you're on msn at 10 15, you can see that he puts : It shows that you will betray me for another friend.
Well, i ended the conversation first, of course. After some time, he apologized. But he said he wouldn't take back those words he had said. He is a straight-forward person, i guess. But then... i alr calm down and said nvm. He was feeling very down at that point of time and 1 of the reasons is because of me. I'm so sorry. Really sorry. Frankly speaking, i don't know whether we will be awkward towards each other after this matter, and whether.... we'll still be friends like how we used to be. Everything seems so blur now. And i really don't know what else can i do. I only know... I got my night screwed.

62 more days...

Sunday (19.09.10):

Title : What is trust?

Lol, today got 2 people birthday. 1 of them is lixin and the other is jun rong. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BOTH OF YOU! [: Woke up at 10am this morning. Rather late, i know. But because of the terrible night last night, i couldn't sleep. I slept only after a long period of time. Went to bedok library to study with lixin at 12pm. But she cannot stay too long, so we study till 2pm. Audrey came to somehow fetch me to her house at that point of time for the lit project. I stayed till 6 30 and went off then. When i reached home, the first thing my mom does is scream at me. She asked me why did i switched off my phone and that she had called me twice but i did not answer. I told her i did not switch off my phone, neither did i receive any phone calls. If she doesn't believe, she can check my phone! Yes, indeed she doesn't trust me and insist that i did not obey her and switched off my phone. SHE DOESN'T TRUST ME! SHE DOUBT ME! So then we quarreled. I was being wronged and accused by her and you expect me to accept it? NO WAY! She had been accusing me for lots of times yet i didn't say or do anything. But today, she was really overboard. And, it seems that i created a havoc. I couldn't take it alr. I even swear that i did not switch off my phone. Instead, i left it switched on for the whole day. I'm not that kind who will switch off my phone as and when i like. My phone is 24 hours available. But, no one trust me, not even my dad. He said : "Whatever problems, you are the ONLY ONE at fault." FINE! I AM! OK?! Zhong zhe's matter is my fault, this also, happy?! People just don't trust me. Am i seriously a person who cannot gain trust? Maybe. But, i have to thank bro, for standing up for me. He helped me because he understands. Things still aren't solved yet and mom is still angry. Yes, i cried a lot. More than i'd expected. And it's all because of accusation. My conscious is clear, but people doubt it. Before i went to bathe, i cried. In the toilet, i cried more. Usually, i would stop crying when i was done bathing. But not this time. After bathing, i tried to stop, but tears just flow down as freely as they wanted to. I really couldn't control. No one knows, except him. I begged him to find something to cheer me up. At that point of time, i'm still crying. He called me. Actually i didn't want to pick up, because i'm crying. And i definitely doesn't want him to hear my crying voice. But then, i still talked to him. He asked me what happened and i also explained. He tried to calm me down and explained things to me. After that he said : "Smile. (: You have a nice smile. Show it. (:" And surprisingly, i really smiled. Haha, that method works. Thank you. :) Now... i feel that myself is so terrible, so weak. Haiz...

61 more days...

Today (20.09.10):

Title : They say what they think.

Monday, it's the start of a week. Again, many things are going to happen. For sure. Be it pleasant or unpleasant stuffs. But you know, i'll really try to go against all odds. To prove that i'm strong. I won't cry over things again. Try not to. Although crying is a normal form of expressing your feelings, it just makes me weaker. Anyway, lessons! :D Presented our lit project today. OH, didn't know it's that well done. Haha, also have to thanks audrey and angeline. Recess... only drank milo. For all lessons, i only look forward to science. LOL. All of a sudden, i wish to have science lesson everyday. After school, bought rice. Well, i got gastric. NEED TO EAT MORE FOOD THAT CONTAIN PROTEINS! Hahahas.... after lixin, angeline and i had our meal, we were laughing all the way. Funny lurh, duh. [: Then we went for cca at around 3 30. I had it till 6 30. On bus 228, saw lixin. Although we're standing beside each other, i have no idea why we were talking through sms. Well, people don't believe me. They won't ever believe. Both of them think that it's a _____. But it's not. Maybe their first impression on what i told them (if i were to tell) is this. Fine, i'll just let it be a _____, since all of you think so. Sian, now having stomache, suddenly! OMG... pain. :(

60 more days...

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