I've got to calm down..... give me a moment....
------------------------------------------------
Okays, back... with tears rolling down..... right, i cried.... right, jamie... you dun care. I dunno how to go on.... because firstly...... i didnt blame you, jamie. I was just trying to figure out WHY. I didnt say dat you doesnt have your own reason.... but... i just wanna know the reason why ONLY jr. But also got to tell you.... i SERIOUSLY tried to understand you more..... and better.... but.... i'm not in sku that day... so i wanna know the reason. Reason only.... i didnt blame you.... my sis... and i didnt help him. I dun mind you scolding me... no matter what, its my fault, alright? And i'm not gonna scold you back. I will NOT...........
............. HOW TO CLEAR MY TEARS????!!!!! ............... THEY JUST KEEP ROLLING DOWN!!
Alrights....... jamie, i wanna know why you say "Its not sheree's fault.... Hui ALREADY know long ago". What do you mean? And... what do i ALREADY knows? What is not sheree's fault? Anyways... yes, i'm not a perfect friend for you.... i'm not a good sis at all.... but i want to let you know... i just want the "past" back..... that memory that cannot be erased... i helped you... and i feel so great.... i want that back!! I already know our distance is getting further and further... thats why i just want to treat you better than before.... just to close up our gap. I've been thinking through... am i seriously a so.. hate-able person? Am i so bad for you guys? Am i always being the one who dun understand you guys? If its a YES to all questions.... den... i'm not fit to be you guys' sisters... and i'll quit. Wun go back....... Actually feel like posting the funny part of the day... but... after reading what jamie posted...... everything in my head....... GONE. Only fearfulness... scared that jamie dun wan me to be her sis le... scared she's hurt agn.... and right, I MAKE HER SAD AND HURT HER AGN!!!!!!!!!!!! ALTHOUGH I DUN WAN THAT! CAN YOU TELL ME HOW TO?! HOW AM I GOING TO STOP HURTING HER AND GET BACK TO MY TRACK??!!!
Always feel that i had betrayed her.... thats why everything... i gave them to her... not wanting to snatch... and i got nothing to snatch as well.... i want to "pay" back her! But all i do is just hurting. HURTING!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah... i'm a sucker;a bitch;a ass-hole;a basterd.....
Sorry, jamie... i got nothing to say... speechless.... just wanna apologise..... i know probably its too late to apologise.... but..... what can i do to make you happy agn? Tell me... and i'll do it.... please....
I'm sorry.....





.......Jamie